he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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