I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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