and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
