was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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