Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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