Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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