WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
