dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
