After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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