omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
