I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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