Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
