sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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