One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
