I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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