He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
