Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
