Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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