You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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