How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
