just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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