The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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