Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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