her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
