best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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