My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
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Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I still have a little drunk in my system
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.