looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?