Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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