im holly from the hills drunk
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
