exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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