I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize