is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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