Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize