I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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