party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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