your thong is hanging out like whoa
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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