Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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