We're facebook friends in real life
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
only you would photoshop your dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
