She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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