thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
