Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
