Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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