I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
