did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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