There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
