Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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