Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
