I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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