He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
