Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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