so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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