I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize