You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He kissed a someone with a penis
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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