I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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