At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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