People in love make me want to vomit
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I came so hard my ears popped.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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