Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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