I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Shame - the story of my life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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