You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
