like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
