so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
