Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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