Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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