idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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