Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
