its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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