Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize